Let me first explain my title, yes, it is what you are thinking, my biological clock... I don't really think it is ticking, but some folks here do.
When I go out on stories, I meet so many people, sometime we chat for a little while, and they ask me (women do) how old am I.
To me it's not a big deal so I say 26. Next question, are you married? I reply, NOPE! Then here comes the next one, do you have any kids? No, maam I dont. (these two questions are asked in either order).
Then comes the dreaded, 'oh, hunny, I'm sorry." or "You'll find yourself a good man one day." or "26 and no kids or husband?"or the big one, "What is wrong?"
I'm thinking, wow, am I damaged? Many people here seem to obviously think so! I've met many women here, who are 22, 23, even 24 and married and with kids, nothing wrong with that, but I chose a different route. I also know women, those same ages, that are divorced, unhappy, and yes with kids. I chose a different route.
These Are My Confessions!
When I got the opportunity to come to Abilene, I chose my career. I have/had someone in my life that I spent 8 great years with. He is now my best friend, but before saying yes to the job, I had a day or two to decide, whether I would be going with him to North Carolina, or coming to Abilene. I chose Me. I needed to follow my dreams, I needed to make my 20k in loans I have left at least worth it, I needed to see if this is something I want to do for the rest of my life. I needed for once, to choose me. I did.
So I'm not damage, I'll have that husband and kids one day, and it will be wonderful, but I'm 26 and I am following my dreams, and living life for me.
And there is nothing wrong with being single, having a career, and making the choice to leave everything behind and go off on my own, to find myself.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
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Bravo my dear! I'm right there with you!
ReplyDeleteThere's more to life than getting married and having a child at a young age. I think you've done the right thing. There's plenty of time to have a family and husband.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! You're far from alone and you have a good head on your shoulders. Marrying young may work for some people but it's not the norm anymore, nor do I think it should be.
ReplyDeleteAnd, gasp, some women these days are choosing not to marry at all! Women now have choices, and thank God for that!
I have a feeling that those who butt into your personal business like that may be envious that you are a strong, independent woman who can stand on her own two feet and be happy. Some of them might even be in bad marriages and wish they had done things differently so ragging on you gives them a perverse sense of pleasure. Whatever!
In all you do, be happy!
Good for you!!! Don't let anyone make you think there is something wrong. You will have plenty of time for marriage and children. Enjoy your life BEFORE getting married and having children. I wish more young people made the same choice, them maybe we wouldn't have as many divorces.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you.
I'm right there with you Maria.
ReplyDeleteBeing from Abilene, I sometimes start to panic that nearly EVERYONE I went to high school with is married and/or having kids.
I like you, hope that someday I do get to experience both of those wonderful things- but once I do, I will no longer get to be selfish and focus on me and what I want, so that's what I'm doing now.
Maria,you made the right choice.
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed when I walk around and see the number of young girls/women with multiple children. Did they not have any career goals? Life goals? Anything other than being a baby factory. Such a shame....
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your life and know that you made the right decision and should you choose to leave Abilene, you will find that in many other parts of the country there are many women just like you.
Had you gone a different route no doubt you would live with some sort of regrets. Good for you. I had my first child at 26 and didn't marry until I was almost 35. Who cares what others wish for you or think you should do, all that matters is you. I am just now attending college for criminal justice and would not have chosen any other route for myself despite the pressures of religion and peers as to what I'm 'supposed' to do. Good luck to you :)
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